"Doing it all"
Don't you hate that? How and why did we, women, ever decide we wanted to do it all? How about this slogan...
"Do what we think is best"
Since my last post a lot has changed in my life. I became a mother. I always knew my life would change when I became a parent. I just never really anticipated the gravity of the change. I never really knew just how big a change would occur within me chemically.
Leaving my son to return to work has been the hardest thing I have ever done. It wasn't a choice. I did not choose to "do it all". I have to. I would sell my kidney on the black market to be able to stay home with him. Unfortunately, I don't know how to contact these black market surgeons so I had to settle for returning to my position as the member of an executive team of a small corporation.
On my first day back in the office I was genuinely happy to see all of the great people I work with. It was nice to be able to talk about something other than the color of baby poop. But, my mind kept wandering back to the little bug to the left. What was he doing? Does he have enough milk? What if he just laughed for the very first time and I missed it?
Needless to say I left work in tears vowing to quit. I'd live in a cardboard box if I had to....
I live in Massachusetts. That cardboard box is one of the most expensive in the country. I am the primary earner and living on my husbands meager salary just wouldn't be an option. We would have no car, no home and have to move in with my parents in a cramped spare bedroom. But, is that the price to pay?
I am struggling deeply with what is more important. Is it more important for me be able to provide my son with a stable house and a comfortable life with a stressed out mommy? Or, would it be better to live in a spare bedroom and likely get a divorce?
Here's to praying that the United State of America institutes more realistic leave policies and catches up to the rest of the world. If I had a year with my son, it would make all the difference in the world.
On my first day back in the office I was genuinely happy to see all of the great people I work with. It was nice to be able to talk about something other than the color of baby poop. But, my mind kept wandering back to the little bug to the left. What was he doing? Does he have enough milk? What if he just laughed for the very first time and I missed it?Needless to say I left work in tears vowing to quit. I'd live in a cardboard box if I had to....
I live in Massachusetts. That cardboard box is one of the most expensive in the country. I am the primary earner and living on my husbands meager salary just wouldn't be an option. We would have no car, no home and have to move in with my parents in a cramped spare bedroom. But, is that the price to pay?
I am struggling deeply with what is more important. Is it more important for me be able to provide my son with a stable house and a comfortable life with a stressed out mommy? Or, would it be better to live in a spare bedroom and likely get a divorce?
Here's to praying that the United State of America institutes more realistic leave policies and catches up to the rest of the world. If I had a year with my son, it would make all the difference in the world.
