The Word on Weaning

When I decided to write this blog, I did it for the purpose of connecting with other women out there that could potentially be going through the same things that I am. I think there is nothing worse that feeling alone. There is honestly nothing worse than thinking that nobody can relate to you or understand you. Everyone needs a tribe. Whether your tribe is your close friends you've had for years or a group or strangers that you have found common ground with - it doesn't matter. So long as you have somebody.  

Well tribe... I want to talk to you about weaning. When I made the choice to breastfeed, I honestly didn't anticipate the deep emotional connection it would spark between my baby and I. Of course, every mother and child have a deep emotional connection...

But, for me, the act of giving him life and sustenance from my body was so empowering to me. I loved nursing. When I went back to work I dedicated myself to 3-4 pumping sessions a day so I could continue nursing. I got to the six month mark and was determined to make it the full twelve months. That is when my meeting and travel schedule interfered. It made it very challenging for me to maintain a normal pumping schedule. Flights, hotels and all day meetings quickly caused my supply to wane and I decided it was time to ween. 

I can remember the last time I nursed him. Even now I get teary over it. I would give anything to rewind time, stop the weaning, put my foot down and muster through. It was just such a wonderful bonding experience that I will treasure forever. 

What I read about weaning focused more on the transition to bottle and the change in routine rather than the actual emotional impact it could have on the mother. And by emotional impact, I mean some form depression. It took me a very long time to connect the dots and honestly understand what has been happening to my body over the last few months - so let me break it down for you. 

Weaning alone is emotional. It means that your little one has reached a stage in their development where they are no longer solely dependent on Mom for sustenance. Nursing also produces endorphin's for Mom AND burns calories. This stops when nursing stops. For some people (like me!) that equals immediate weight gain. Once you stop nursing your body also attempts to kick itself back into your normal monthly cycle. That means a rush of hormones. 

I stopped nursing in December. It is now February. I can genuinely say I have yet to consistently feel like myself. I have good days and I have bad days. My doctor says once my hormones finally even out, I should get back into the swing of things and consistently feel like myself. While I wait for that to happen, I will just keep in mind that these feelings are normal. That change is hard. That the little, no matter what, would have eventually weaned. 

I'm sure many of you have experienced this process while weaning your kiddo's. I would love to hear about them.